• Michelle

Stalker Revealed. It was Me!

Dinner was had, clean up was done, boys were playing quietly. I took this opportunity to catch up on my facebook. I was scanning through my friends updates, when I see my girlfriend’s son had put the following as his status:

I’m bored, text me (***)***-****

(No quotations because I’m paraphrasing here). This boy, we’ll call him C, is in the 8th grade. Being the kind and wonderful person I am, I get a little concerned that my friend’s son is posting his phone # on the internet. Something I’m no ok with. Do I call his mother and kindly let her know so that she can have a chat with her son? No. Do I call him and tell him that I’m concerned about his safety and that he should remove his # from his status? Nope! I decide to play the stalker. You know, to teach him a lesson. I took no joy from this what-so-ever. Knowing that my phone # would not be programmed into C’s phone, I knew he would not know who I am. Here’s how the texting went:

Me: C, you should not be giving out your phone # on facebook. Then people like me can get and text stuff to you and you have no idea who I am.

C: Oh so that narrows it down to the 125 friends I have

Me: Unless some of those friends are all ready in your phone, then it narrows it down a little more. But I’m not one of your friends in your phone! Haha

C: No your not. What is thy current school thy is going to

Me: Now if I told you that, then you’d be able to narrow it down even more and ruin all my fun! And what fun would that be?

C: Ok, you have the are code *** so you are a resident of [a certain area]

Me: How many of your friends are in [a certain area] that are on your facebook and not in your phone?

C: Many

Me: Too bad! Guess the area code thing won’t narrow it down much. Now what are you gonna do?

At this time, I start texting his mom letting her know what was going on. She was thrilled!

C: Beat everyone down to a pulp

Me: Well now, that’s not very nice. Besides, who would you beat down?

C: Everyone who is my friend but I don’t have there number.

Me: How many would that be?

C: ikd

Me: That sounds like a lot of work to me. But, do you think beating down all your friends will get you the into your looking for?

C: Yes

Me: All right! Are you gonna keep texting me as the beat down commences or should I wait until your down?

C: ok just tell me

Me: Tell you what?

C: Your name

Me: I’ll give you my middle initial but that’s all.

C: Ok fine

Me: B

C: What’s your middle name: Be nice and give me a break

Me: I can’t tell you that. You see, my middle name is very gender specific, so if I gave you that then it would narrow it down even more. And that would ruin my fun.

C: Just tell me your middle name, who cares if I know your gender

Me: Maybe I care. What grade r u in?

C: What grade are you? I’m C, you should know.

At this point I text his mom asking what grade he was in

Me: I know your in 8th grade, I just wanted you to feel a little bit better about not knowing who I am. I know even more than that!

C: Like what?

Texting his mom asking what his middle name was

Me: Like your middle name

C: And what is it

Me: It starts with the letter right before mine!

C: That’s not possible

Me: What’s not possible?

C: My middle name starts with A

Me: I know, I just said that

C: What’s your name, I’m gonna cry

Me: I told you, it starts with a B. And will you take a pic and post it on fb?

C: of what?

Me: You crying

C: just about

Me: Ok ok, I’ll tell you something else I know about you

C: What?

Me: I know where you live

C: Haha really what’s my address

Me: How ‘bout if I just come over instead?

C: No you’ve just made it to my ignore list

Me: Who are you ignoring?

At this point I’m back on facebook chatting with his mom who’s telling me that C is very nervous! And James starts reading the texts and decides he’s gonna have his say too.

James posing as me: Don’t ignore me. That could turn out very bad for you.

James posing as me: Especially if I know where you live. Ignoring me would upset me and then I would have to pay you a visit.
Now I’m chatting with my friend on facebook asking for directions to her house.

C: I could sit outside with a gun. I can call the police if you don’t tell me who you are.

James posing as me: You could, but your dad keeps his guns locked up. How’s his shoulder?

In the car driving over to her house

C: MICHELE

Crafty kid had asked his mom for her cell phone on the pretext of playing a game then went through her text messages. It didn’t dawn on her to erase the text messages from me first.

Me: I’m coming over

C: No

Me: Yes

Me after arriving at the house: I’m here C, maybe you can hear the ding from my phone when you send me a text.

Then I knock on the door. I can hear C’s mom saying “C, someone’s here to see you!” She opens the door and C runs through the front entry way, but not quick enough before his mom, sister, and I grab him and I give him a great big hug and ask how my new friend is doing! He then runs off to his room and slams the bedroom door!

I had a lovely visit with my friend, but being that it was late, I had to get up early, and the whole purpose of going over there was to scare C a little, the visit was short. After getting into my car, I sent him one last text.

Me: Thanks for texting with me! I hope our boredom has been cured!

I haven’t heard from C since.

As I crawled into bed, I started thinking C might be a little upset with me and the consequences might lead him to remove me from his friend list. But it was totally worth it!

I did log onto facebook the next morning and saw that he had deleted his status with his phone # and he did not remove me from his friend list. Perhaps I’ll be forgiven afterall!

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