• Michelle

Conversations with boys

Gary: My teacher let me borrow this book today.

Me: What is it?

Gary: It’s the 100 most dangerous things on this planet.

Me: Oh yea? Where’s your page?

Gary: If I were in this book, I’d be on the first page.

John: I’m thirsty. Can I have a water?

Mom: Yes, you can get a water from the fridge.

John: *runs to the fridge, grabs a water, runs back into the living room and trips on his way.

Dad: John, try this again. You know you need to walk in the house. Now go to the fridge and walk back.

John: *walks back to the fridge, opens the fridge door, puts water back. Grabs a different water, closes the fridge door. Then walks backwards to the living room.

Me: Honey, would you still love me if I were really really fat?

James: Yes

Me: Would you still love me if I were bald?

James: Yes

Me: Would you still love me if my skin turned green?

James: Yes

Me: Would you still love me if my vagina closed up?

James: Yes. Your mouth would still work, right?

Me: What if my vagina and my mouth closed up and I was forced to consume baby food through a straw for the rest of my life?

James: We’d have to discuss the whole mistress thing, but I would still love you.

Me: This is going on the blog.

James: If you can remember it.

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