• Michelle

The difference in randomition

Today’s random post is different then the normal randomonium in that my regular random posts have no rhyme or reason to them. I just sit down and write whatever comes to mind. Today’s random post is due to several things on my mind that could probably fill 2 or 3 posts, but I’m too lazy to write that much. Either that or when I write more then one post a day, my comments suffer for it. *Yes, I’m a comment whore. I freely admit it. kthanksbye

First on today’s agenda: Bloggy Boot Camp – and my confession to being a social retard.

I blame my brother, my elementary school, the bullies who picked on me; pretty much anything to shift the blame off myself for my social awkwardness. Yes, I know I’m a grown up now, and the vices that held me down are gone, but those fears of rejection still hold me in their tight grips. All I wanted was to be accepted, have a group of friends to call my own, a posse. But that was hard when you had a brother 1 year older then you who spent his time terrorizing teachers, drinking behind the band room and smoking in the bathroom. His reputation for being horrid and weird passed on to me and I was too much of an introvert to do anything about it. They called me names, threw rocks at me and destroyed my property. I had one saving grace in elementary school and that was my friend Ginger. She didn’t care that I was unpopular and she didn’t let what the other kids say get to her. She was unpopular by association, but she still remained my friend.

I guess, I’ve let my past fears grow with me and my natural introvertedness (is that a word? MS Word says it’s not) has stayed with me. This is not a good combination when you’re thrown into a social setting of (mostly) perfect strangers. It’s not so bad when that social setting is online. I have my computer screen to hide behind. My thoughts come out exactly as I want them to. There’s no awkward silence when you’ve said something dumb (that happens a lot, just warning the BBC girls now); but face to face? Where people can hear my voice, see my face and my expressions?! They get to know the real me behind all the insanity that is this blog. I’m terrified.

But it’s time I put my big girl panties on; and if the BBC girls don’t like me or my weirdness, then that’s ok. I’m stepping out of my fear. I’m no longer going to let the past decide my future. God has me in the palm of his hand and He says ‘Fear Not’ 365 times.

***

Second on today’s agenda: Gary – and an official diagnosis

We’ve struggled the past couple years with Gary and school. This year has been especially hard, and I think each year will get progressively harder (I’m fairly certain that’s how school works, but I can’t be sure). Gary is a very disorganized kid. In second grade his teacher took everything out of his desk and made him use a bucket until he could keep the bucket organized. When his bucket got out of control, she moved his stuff to a shelf in the class room. All his school work remained on the shelf until the end of the school year. Organization is not his strong suit.

Neither is getting school work done. It’s not that he’s having difficulties learning. When you ask him a question about what was taught, he’ll not only give you the answer, but he’ll give you all the additional information that is not required to know. This kid is smart! But he’s not very good at putting it down on paper. He goes off into his own little world when he’s made to sit still and do paperwork. At the end of any given week, he’ll be sent home with 6-10 class room assignments that were due on Friday. But because he didn’t get them done, they are sent home to do over the weekend. Then I stand over him with “whip and chain” just to make sure he gets them done and even then I’ll go over them and there’ll be answers left blank.

These issues with school have led us to a child psychologist. He gave me a booklet with 300+ questions and a ‘bubble test’ for lack of a better word. The next session included playing games with Gary that had him following directions and demonstrate patience. The official diagnosis is ADHD. That is not what I wanted to hear, but it is what we suspected. He said it wasn’t so severe that he recommended medication, but he gave us some idea’s to use with him to help change some of the behavior issues we’re having. I think just having the diagnosis is a weight off my shoulders. We know what we’re dealing with and we can help him in a way that best suits him. There are many different options to look and pray through; but at the end of the day he’s still my sweet boy.

***

Last on my agenda: John – and the fact that he’s a monster.

He’s the cutest, wildest, funniest little monster in the whole wide world.

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