• Michelle

Not Me Monday – Photoshoot edition

It wasn’t me who took our darling boys to the park so they could play. Nope, I took them so I could take their pictures.

Of course, our children are always happy to have their picture taken.

I did not have to bribe them with Rice Krispy Treats that I had made earlier that day in order to elicit this photo.

They’re never uncooperative.

I didn’t tell John to lean back onto his brother while his brother was strewn between 2 slides at a precarious angel.

After such a wonderful time at the park with the most perfect little boys ever, I’m not thinking about going back to the park to retake their photo’s using these benches; especially now that they’ve had haircuts.

Oh, and this conversation that happened on Saturday between Gary and John did not remind me of my own childhood growing up:

Gary: Mom, John’s picking his nose.

Mom and Dad: So

Dad: It’s his nose, let him pick it.

Gary: But it’s gross and I don’t want to look at it.

James: So don’t look at him.

Gary: But I want to look out his window.

James: Then you’ll have to deal with looking at him while he picks his nose.

A few minutes later

John: Mom, Gary’s looking out my window.

Linking up with MckMama and Not Me Monday
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The looney bin, or close to it

John’s idea of a snack
John: “Mom, can I have a snack?”

Me: “No, it’s almost dinner time.”

John: Runs into my bedroom because he knows daddy always has snacks on his end table.

Me: Sees John running into our bedroom and knows exactly what’s on his mind; runs in after him, just as he reaches the end table; observes him look around for a second then watch as he walks back towards me. He’s clearly got something in his mouth. With hands on hips, ask “John, what are you eating?”

John: “Oh, just my boogers”

Gary’s idea of logic
Gary: “Did you know that nobody ever gets hurt in Garyland?”

Me: “Really? Like nobody ever gets hurt there?”

Gary: “Nope, nobody ever gets hurt in Garyland.”

Me: “Well, what about the bad guys?”

Gary: “Well, they get hurt. Of course.”

Me: “But you just said nobody ever gets hurt in Garyland.”

Gary: “Except the bad guys.”

Me: “No, you said nobody which means everybody does not get hurt. You didn’t specify any exceptions in your comment.”

Gary: “I don’t know what that means.

Me: “That means, with no exceptions then the bad guys don’t get hurt.”

Gary: “I just said they get hurt. I’m a ninja and I’m the only one in Garyland that can hurt the bad guys.”

Me: “Do you get hurt?”

Gary: “No, I’m a ninja!

Me: “Oh, ok. That’s clear as mud.”

James’ idea of keeping me off the computer for a whole weekend.
James: “I’m going to take the CPU to the desktop down to Staples and have them clean it up so it runs faster.”

Me: “Oh sweet! How long will that take?”

James: “A couple of days.”

A few hours later

James: “You couldn’t go a whole weekend without your precious computer and the internet.”

Me: “Yes I could. I’m not an addict.”

James: “Yes you are. I’ll bet if you don’t get on the computer at all this weekend I’ll be taking you to the loony bin by Sunday night.”

Me: “You’re on”

Fast forward to Saturday night.

James: “Crap, I’m out of insulin.”

Me: “That sucks.”

James: “It’s really late and I’m all ready in my underwear. *sigh*”

Me: “That sucks even more.”

James: “I’m kinda hoping that you’ll go to the pharmacy for me since you’re still dressed and all.”

Me: “No.”

James: “I’ll life your computer ban if you go.”

Me: “The ban isn’t really for you to lift, now is it? But ok, I’ll go. If you kiss my toe.”

James: “WHAT?! That’s so gross!”

Me: “Have fun at the pharmacy.”

James: “Which one?”

Me: “The one you broke. Twice!”

James: Puckers up and kisses my toe.

Me: Goes to the pharmacy and picks up his prescription. Gets back home and tells James, “Now my computer ban is lifted! Woo Hoo!”

James: “No, you said I had to kiss your toe and I did. The computer ban is still on.”

Me: “I don’t think so! You said I could have it back if I went.”

James: “Then you changed the rules.”

Me: “No I didn’t, I just added to them!”

15 minutes later

James: “Hey, come check this out on the computer.”

Me: “What is it?”

James: “Just come look at it.”

Me: Sits down at the computer and enters the password into the laptop; gets an error message that the username or password was incorrect; enters the password again; gets the same error message. “Did you change the password on the laptop?”

James: “Yes, I did. The ban is still on!”

Me: Taps out password after password because I know all of his usual ones but nothing is working! Sees a button for ‘switch users’; presses the button but no other users pop up; presses Ctrl/L to get the list of users to come up but no success.
James: “Oh, and I also removed the other users”

8PM Sunday night

Me: “Well, since the weekend started at 8pm on Friday, then the weekend ends at 8pm on Sunday.”

James: “I don’t think so. The weekend ends on Monday.”

Me: “Do you want sex?”

James: “Yes”

Me: “Then give me the password!”

James: Changes the password on the laptop.

Me: Plays on the laptop for the rest of the night

My idea of helping James cook
James: “All I need you to do is stir the pasta roni after the water starts to boil. Then, start the microwave about 5 minutes before dinner is ready. Can you handle that?”

Me: “I’m not an idiot! I know how to cook some things.” Reading the directions on the back of the Pasta Roni; it says to slowly pour in the pasta and special seasoning; looks in the box, removes the seasoning; opens both packets and dumps the contents of both special seasoning and pasta into the pot all at once; stirs contents; pot boils over. “Crap!”

Once dinner is served

FIL: “Do we have any veggies to go with dinner?”

James: Looks at me.

Me: Looks at the microwave; jumps up and presses ‘Start’.

James: Looks at FIL – “They’ll be ready in 5 minutes. We can have them for dessert.”

James & FIL: Give me dirty looks

Me: “What? You know I’m inept in the kitchen. Why does this surprise you?”

After the microwave dings

Me: “Someone better get that, you know how inept I am in the kitchen. I don’t want to ruin the freshly cooked vegetables.”

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I should be sleeping, but clearly I’m not

I took the whole day off work today! I took Gary to school and John and I just hung out. All day! On our way home from taking Gary to school, John decided to show off his counting skills. His idea of counting:

25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 2030. Um, ok!

We started our day with a walk around the neighborhood. John rode his scooter while I walked behind him. Of course, I took my camera with me. I’ve decided that taking pictures of flowers is where my strengths lie with photography.

I have no idea what this is, but it grew on a tree. I was really intrigued with this ‘flower’ that I had to take a picture of it. John touched it and did not like it!

As we turned a corner, these flowers were protruding from the edge of someones yard.  Soon after this picture was taken, John decided he was getting tired of riding his scooter. But I managed to persuade him to ride a little further.

 I really liked the way this picture turned out. I added some texture in post edit and am really pleased with the effects. What do you think? I entered this one into the i heart faces community.

I don’t think this one really qualifies as a flower, but I really liked it. So I took a picture of it! I saw one of these plants on the transition of 2 highways a week or so ago and wanted to stop and take a picture of it. So imagine my surprise when I found one in my very own neightborhood!
In the middle of our walk today, John really just wanted to go and I wanted to stop and take pictures!
After we got done with our walk, I decided to take John out on his bike. We’ve been working on riding without training wheels. He’s absolutely terrified of falling, but he did pretty well for his first time. He managed to ride on his own for about 3 seconds!
After school was out, I had promised Gary we would go to the park today. Gary is getting so big! Sometimes I look at him and wonder where my baby boy went. He’s got this face full of freckles and blue eyes full of wonder.

I just loved his eyes in this picture. It’s a rare occasion when Gary is willing to have his picture taken. Today was one of those occasions and I took full advantage of it! I just wish I hadn’t cut his chin off in this picture!

It’s been the perfect day off. After such a stressful tax season, it was a welcome break! I loved getting to hang with John and then both my boys after school let out.
What are your plans for the weekend? My plans include a birthday. Who’s, you ask? Mine!! Of course!! 🙂

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Conversations with boys

Gary: My teacher let me borrow this book today.

Me: What is it?

Gary: It’s the 100 most dangerous things on this planet.

Me: Oh yea? Where’s your page?

Gary: If I were in this book, I’d be on the first page.

John: I’m thirsty. Can I have a water?

Mom: Yes, you can get a water from the fridge.

John: *runs to the fridge, grabs a water, runs back into the living room and trips on his way.

Dad: John, try this again. You know you need to walk in the house. Now go to the fridge and walk back.

John: *walks back to the fridge, opens the fridge door, puts water back. Grabs a different water, closes the fridge door. Then walks backwards to the living room.

Me: Honey, would you still love me if I were really really fat?

James: Yes

Me: Would you still love me if I were bald?

James: Yes

Me: Would you still love me if my skin turned green?

James: Yes

Me: Would you still love me if my vagina closed up?

James: Yes. Your mouth would still work, right?

Me: What if my vagina and my mouth closed up and I was forced to consume baby food through a straw for the rest of my life?

James: We’d have to discuss the whole mistress thing, but I would still love you.

Me: This is going on the blog.

James: If you can remember it.

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Bowl in the sink

Due to some babysitter issues yesterday a backup babysitter was called in but didn’t start until 6am. This meant I got to spend the morning with my boys. The mornings I get to spend with my boys have got to be some of my favorites. I think because they are so few and far between. The weekend mornings don’t count for some reason, though I don’t know why. It’s just different when it’s during the week I guess.

This is a conversation I had with John as we were finishing up with breakfast:

John: “I’m done with my cereal.”

Me: “Ok, put your bowl in the sink.”

John: “Why?”

Me: “Because I said so.”

John: “Oh. But my stomach hurts.”

Me: “Well, that doesn’t mean you can’t put your bowl in the sink.”

John: “I need you to do it.”

Me: “No, I don’t think so. Please put the bowl in the sink.”

John: “But mom, my stomach hurts. It’s gonna rip and rip my shirt.”

Me: “Oh no. I’m so sorry to hear that. I need you to put the bowl in the sink before that happens though, ok?”

John: “Ok” {grabs the bowl and heads towards the sink} “Mom, my feet hurt.”

Me: “Well, they’re not going to fall off before you get to the sink.”

***

Last night I was left alone with the boys, and if you remember what happened last time when mom is left in charge of dinner, you can imagine what I did this time.

Actually, it wasn’t that bad. I made grilled cheese sandwiches. Gary and John each had a sandwich with American cheese, I made mine with Baby Swiss. Yum! But I digress. Gary must have been super hungry because he had scarffed his sandwich down in record time. Once finished, he asked if he could have a snack. I told him yes and he headed straight for the homemade chocolates sitting on the counter. He grabbed 2 pieces of fudge, but before he could get too far I told him he could only have 1. He placed the second piece on the table in front of John intending for John to have it when he finished with his dinner. At this point into dinner, John hadn’t eaten even half of his sandwich. He reached for the piece of chocolate in front of him, but wasn’t fast enough. I grabbed it with lightening speed and told him he had to finish his dinner before he could have it.

He stuffed what was left of the first half of the sandwich into his mouth and washed it down with his Capri-Sun and tried to convince me he was finished. I told him he had to finish the other half before he could have the fudge. He proceeded to slowly eat the other half, in between playing silly games with me and laughing hysterically. The chocolate remained in front of me as we ate and played. John got down to the corner of the crust and decided it was time to use the bathroom. While he was gone, I decided he had eaten enough and picked up the sandwich and placed the fudge on his plate, throwing the last bit of dinner in the garbage. When he came back to the table and noticed his sandwich was missing, he threw a huge fit! The tears were pouring, the snot was flowing, he threw himself on the fireplace and had himself a tantrum! He cried at me saying he was going to finish his sandwich. So like any good mom would do, I fished the sandwich out of the garbage and placed it back on his plate. I moved the fudge to the counter and watched as he stuffed the remains of the sandwich in his mouth. (For those who are completely grossed out, the garbage had just been emptied and the only thing in the trash can was the plastic liner and my paper plate.) After he had finished the sandwich he looked up at me and said, “I’m done with my sandwich, can I have the fudge now?”

I’ve got to wonder – Did he really want the last bit of sandwich or did he just think he needed to finish it to get the fudge? The world may never know…

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Johnny is…

Yep, my baby boy is 4 years old today. I let him choose anything he wanted for breakfast and he chose cereal. He chose white cake with green, red, and white colors and then told me what order he wanted the colors in. He chose blue and red for the frosting decorations. He’s 4!! I think there should be a certain age you have to be before you can make choices. Kinda like driving, you can’t make any choices until your 18! Until then, just rely on your parents to know what’s right for you, mkay? Thanks!

John is the independant one. He wants to do everything himself, and he wants to help with everything. Whether it’s laundry, baking, or eating that last piece of chocolate, I can always count on him to help me out.

So, in honor of my baby turning 4 years old today – enjoy another addition of ‘Where’s Monster Truck’

This little guy wanted to be just like the real monster trucks in Monster Jam.

Ok, do you see the 5 lined up on the side of the dump truck? Do you also see the other monster trucks inside the dump truck? Thank you Santa and Papa…
It’s been a rather exhausting day with my sweet 4 year old. John was ‘helping’ me bake his cake and James walked into the kitchen. John looks up at James and says:
John: “Dad, come here. Let me see your face.”
Dad: Puts his face right next to John.
John: “I think it hurts.”
Dad: “Thanks John. Good to know my face hurts.”
John: “Yeah, it’s like a big owie.”

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He is so not cute

James and I were relaxing in our room, watching tv, after we put the boys to bed. James was sprawled out on his stomach and me next to him. I decided to be a good wife and give him a back rub. I crawled onto his back and started kneading his sore muscles when I heard little feet approach the bedroom door. James and I watch silently as John creeps ever so slowly into the bedroom, almost as if he was trying to be sneaky but being full aware that we are watching him. He climbs onto the bed and crawls over to the other side with a little smirk like he had actually gotten away with it. Ok, he did get away with it, but I digress.

I look at James and tell him, “Deal with your son!” To which, James replies, “But, honey…”

“Don’t honey me, honey. Quit being such a sucker and deal with him!” So James looks at John and says “John, go back to bed.” John looks at his dad like he’s stupid and says, “Daddy, I am in bed” and proceeds to lie down next to him and watch tv. James and I look at each other and sigh.

When I finished with James’ back rub, James decided to take a shower and invited me to join him. As I was getting ready to take a shower, I looked at John and said, “You better be in bed by the time we get out of the shower!” “Ok, mom” was his response.

And where do you think he was when we got out of the shower?

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Yep, in our bed. Under the covers. The little snot!

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Linking up with 5 minutes for mom, and 7 clown circus,  Let’s just pretend this is wordless though, ok?