• Michelle

Another year ends

Yessssss!!!!!

My baby boy made it!

He made it to 4th grade. Mama is so proud. Did you hear that huge sigh of relief coming from my way?

It’s been a difficult school year. To be honest, there was a time I didn’t think I’d ever see this.

But with the help of his teachers, psychologists and psychiatrists, )and lots and lots of encouragement and threats from mom and dad) we made it to a place of sanity. I know it won’t be easy for him or for us, but that’s ok. He’s worth all the effort, all the struggles, all the extra time, all the everything that it takes to parent a kid with ADHD who’s mom has ADD. Have I mentioned how much fun it is to have ADD and parent a kid who has ADHD? Sometimes, we just need a little extra prayer.

So… it’s been a whole 9 months since I took that picture of Gary starting 3rd grade. I had the brilliant idea of taking a last day picture as well. I wanted to compare the 2 to see how much he’s changed. I really didn’t think there would be much of a difference, but when I put them together I was pleasantly surprised. Then shocked; then I wanted to crawl into a hole with a magic transporter and take him with me to a place where we never grow old or grow up. Am I being a wee bit dramatic?

I have a confession to make. As I look into the future and try to imagine Gary as a teenager, I’m a little bit scared terrified. I’ve always been intimidated by teenagers. They’re like little adults but without the logic, wisdom or experience of being an adult which is a terrible combination (in my opinion). But then I look into his past. I look at pictures of when he was just a baby, then a toddler and I remember with each stage of life, I was terrified of the next.

I think God created life this way. God has a purpose for everything and life is such that you’re born a baby not knowing anything. As you grow and learn, it’s as much for the baby as it is for the parent. Parents learn right along side their child so that each will be prepared for the next stage of life. I love this life thing and especially how God created it. God’s kinda awesome like that.

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The ugly side

After writing this, I am so reluctant to post it. It’s an ugly side that I hate to show, but it’s a problem that is real in our lives right now. I’m going to go ahead and post it, but please be gentle with me. I’m fragile. 😦

This kid

I love him. I love him. I love him. I love him. I love him.

And sometimes

it’s the only thing keeping me from… well…

This one better describes how I feel right now.

Because I just got a call from the assistant principal. Apparently, during morning recess, he and another little boy were chasing a boy around the playground. They threw the boy into the rock climbing structure and pinned him there, asking him “Do you give up?” The poor kid being chased was scared, and rightfully so.

I just don’t know what to do. I want to cry, because I know what it’s like to be bullied. I don’t know how to handle having a kid who is the bully. I’ve told him my story, several times. He knows most of the gruesome details of what it was like for me in school, and yet, they haven’t had any effect on him.

On top of that, he had a recital this morning that I took time off work to attend. Afterwards, a boy about his age approached me and asked if Gary was in some sort of skate club. I told him no. A few minutes after that, the boy and a group of other boys approached me and asked if Gary had ever shot a 20 year old. With Gary standing right next to me, I told the boys no, that he never shot anyone. The group of boys, about 7 or 8 in all, looked at Gary and said “You told us that was real!”

I just don’t know what to do anymore… events from this past week have led us to a decision to medicate him for the ADHD. The psychiatrist he saw has also diagnised him with ODD (Oppositional Defiance Disorder). We’re going to start him on the meds this weekend. While I know the medication will help him to concentrate and stay on task, I just don’t know what help they will give to these other issues. I’m just scared of how he’s going to turn out.

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The difference in randomition

Today’s random post is different then the normal randomonium in that my regular random posts have no rhyme or reason to them. I just sit down and write whatever comes to mind. Today’s random post is due to several things on my mind that could probably fill 2 or 3 posts, but I’m too lazy to write that much. Either that or when I write more then one post a day, my comments suffer for it. *Yes, I’m a comment whore. I freely admit it. kthanksbye

First on today’s agenda: Bloggy Boot Camp – and my confession to being a social retard.

I blame my brother, my elementary school, the bullies who picked on me; pretty much anything to shift the blame off myself for my social awkwardness. Yes, I know I’m a grown up now, and the vices that held me down are gone, but those fears of rejection still hold me in their tight grips. All I wanted was to be accepted, have a group of friends to call my own, a posse. But that was hard when you had a brother 1 year older then you who spent his time terrorizing teachers, drinking behind the band room and smoking in the bathroom. His reputation for being horrid and weird passed on to me and I was too much of an introvert to do anything about it. They called me names, threw rocks at me and destroyed my property. I had one saving grace in elementary school and that was my friend Ginger. She didn’t care that I was unpopular and she didn’t let what the other kids say get to her. She was unpopular by association, but she still remained my friend.

I guess, I’ve let my past fears grow with me and my natural introvertedness (is that a word? MS Word says it’s not) has stayed with me. This is not a good combination when you’re thrown into a social setting of (mostly) perfect strangers. It’s not so bad when that social setting is online. I have my computer screen to hide behind. My thoughts come out exactly as I want them to. There’s no awkward silence when you’ve said something dumb (that happens a lot, just warning the BBC girls now); but face to face? Where people can hear my voice, see my face and my expressions?! They get to know the real me behind all the insanity that is this blog. I’m terrified.

But it’s time I put my big girl panties on; and if the BBC girls don’t like me or my weirdness, then that’s ok. I’m stepping out of my fear. I’m no longer going to let the past decide my future. God has me in the palm of his hand and He says ‘Fear Not’ 365 times.

***

Second on today’s agenda: Gary – and an official diagnosis

We’ve struggled the past couple years with Gary and school. This year has been especially hard, and I think each year will get progressively harder (I’m fairly certain that’s how school works, but I can’t be sure). Gary is a very disorganized kid. In second grade his teacher took everything out of his desk and made him use a bucket until he could keep the bucket organized. When his bucket got out of control, she moved his stuff to a shelf in the class room. All his school work remained on the shelf until the end of the school year. Organization is not his strong suit.

Neither is getting school work done. It’s not that he’s having difficulties learning. When you ask him a question about what was taught, he’ll not only give you the answer, but he’ll give you all the additional information that is not required to know. This kid is smart! But he’s not very good at putting it down on paper. He goes off into his own little world when he’s made to sit still and do paperwork. At the end of any given week, he’ll be sent home with 6-10 class room assignments that were due on Friday. But because he didn’t get them done, they are sent home to do over the weekend. Then I stand over him with “whip and chain” just to make sure he gets them done and even then I’ll go over them and there’ll be answers left blank.

These issues with school have led us to a child psychologist. He gave me a booklet with 300+ questions and a ‘bubble test’ for lack of a better word. The next session included playing games with Gary that had him following directions and demonstrate patience. The official diagnosis is ADHD. That is not what I wanted to hear, but it is what we suspected. He said it wasn’t so severe that he recommended medication, but he gave us some idea’s to use with him to help change some of the behavior issues we’re having. I think just having the diagnosis is a weight off my shoulders. We know what we’re dealing with and we can help him in a way that best suits him. There are many different options to look and pray through; but at the end of the day he’s still my sweet boy.

***

Last on my agenda: John – and the fact that he’s a monster.

He’s the cutest, wildest, funniest little monster in the whole wide world.

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It doesn’t matter

It doesn’t matter how crazy the crazy cycle gets.

It doesn’t matter how angry I get.

 
It doesn’t matter how dramatic he can be.

It doesn’t matter how crazy he makes me.

He still melts my heart

when I hear him try

and succeed!

Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to find a new hiding place for that recorder.

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Wanna see in a random sort of way

I’m warning you now. You are about to be inundated with pictures. Pictures of John. Why John and not Gary you ask? Because Gary was being a butt. Am I allowed to say that publicly? I don’t care – he was being a butt. He refused to have his picture taken, so John and I spent quite a bit of time on an early Monday morning playing and taking pictures!

We started the morning by getting our shoes on. I think I’ve mentioned before that John is very independant and wants to do everything himself. So this process took a while. As you can see, I needed to work on my shutter speed.

We headed outside and after just a few tries, got this stunning photo. Please pay no attention to the greenish yellow bruise healing on his on forhead. He had a run in with a door.
Then John told me “Wait right here, I’ll be right back.”
and came back with a Capri-Sun. The boy loves his Capri-Suns.
John played on the porch swing. I was actually sitting behind the swing and John was laying with his stomach on the seat part. The piece above his head is the back of the swing. As he swung forward I snapped his picture. This took a while to capture as I had to adjust the shutter speed and ISO in order to reduce blue and still get light in the photo. Still, there was some post processing done to lighten it up some more!
John decided to head over to the side of the house where I practiced my multi-photo button thingy. (At the moment, everything will be described as ‘thingy’) I’m not posting most of those pictures because… well… let’s just say I need to work on adjusting the focus a little quicker.
When he was bored running, he decided to jump from the electrical box. Yes, we have a trompoline but leave it to John to have more fun jumping from something that says ‘High Voltage’. In my defense, there was no warning that said ‘No jumping from this box!’
I decided to get creative and sat down while John stood on top of the box. This is the same Capri-Sun from previous pictures, by the way.
John reminding everyone that ‘Only you can prevent forest fires’
Oh how I love this boy! You see those black lines coming from his eyes? Those are his eyelashes. No kidding.
Another pensive look. I think this one is my favorite of them all. He’s just so darn cute!
Can you see me?
Seeing as how there was no trouble to be found on the electrical box, John was off to see what else he could get into.
This was about the point in the morning when John started getting bored having his picture taken. He even told me “ok mom, I’m done with pictures now.”
So we came in for a bite of lunch. He is as weird as he is funny.
I really need to work on lighting in doors. I have decided I really don’t want to use the flash unless I really really really have to. So I need as much help as I can get to figure out how to take great pictures indoors.
Nom nom nom. Love that mac & cheese.
See, I really do take pictures of Gary. But this was after Gary’s total fit and telling me that I could take a picture of his butt. (see, told you he was being a butt). The smile came after I told him to bend over and pull down his pants. His smile quickly turned to a frown though when I told him he was going to take nap right after lunch. He told me he was going to hit his head so hard on the bed rail that he was going to forget this day ever happened. I told him to line his bed with towels to reduce the amount of mess he would have to clean up in the morning. He assured me there would be no blood.
*Please don’t be alarmed by the above conversation. Gary is quite melodramatic and did not follow through with his threat. Although, I would have made him clean up the mess if he had.
And that my friends, is my first experience with my DSLR. Also, I apparently have to start naming all my electronics. Any idea’s on what the DSLR should be named? I’m fairly certain it’s a girl and being that it’s a Nikon it should probably start with ‘N’. What do you think?
Other items needing names:
Brother sewing maching
Apple iPod
LG phone
HP Laptop
Sony desktop

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Trees, boys, and random stuff

Check out my trees! In case you have no idea why I’m posting about my trees, you should start here. Then go here, here, and here.

I took this picture this morning with my actual camera (meaning, not my cell phone camera). No editing because I liked the way this one turned out.

I’ve been doing a little research on my camera to find out the best way to use my camera. Apparently, my camera has a built in ‘stupid button’. I call it the stupid button because if you press this button, no matter what your doing on your camera this button will tell you what that setting is. Pretty cool, huh? I’ve also been reading the tips and tricks on the Kodak website.

Check out the picture I took tonight on my way home from the grocery store.

Ok, so I did a little bit of editing on this picture, but I love how the street lights are reflecting on the rain soaked road.
Side note: Grocery shopping + rain = total suckiness
James and I had a parent teacher conferenance with Gary’s teacher today. The biggest issue Gary is having is organization and responsibility. I want to thank all of you who took the time to respond to my boy troubles. I truely appreciate everybody’s advice and encouragement. James and I along with Gary’s teacher have come up with a plan that will hopefully help Gary get back on task. We are going to continue with earning his priveleges everyday, but James has also come up with a great check list that Gary will be responsible for making sure his teacher checks and signs off on everyday. All in all though, she says he is a smart boy and one of the best kids she’s had this year. On a positive note, she also said his vocabulary is awesome!
Ok, it’s 10pm and James is going to kick me off of here pretty soon. Praying for more rain and no stupid AZ drivers who don’t know how to drive when it rains. Did you know we actually have a stupid motorists law? True story. People will actually drive through flooded area’s and get stuck. So the state of AZ will fine them with the stupid motorist law! Ha…
Good night, sleep tight. And remember, Jesus Loves You!

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I ♥ faces – Best Face Photo

I heart faces is turning 1 y’all! How exciting is that? This week’s photo challange is always a challenge for me. Faces… Hmm, think I’m at the wrong blog! But I digress…I love to take photo’s of faces, I’m just not that good at it. If I can figure out how to install actions into PSE7, I think I’ll be a little further along.

I took this photo of my oldest son just yesterday after church. We were standing outside in the front yard and I noticed I could see my relection in his eyes. I tried to capture the reflection and with a little photo editing I thought this effect was really cool. If you look closely you can see my green shirt with a white logo and my arms up as if I’m holding a…. you know…. camera!

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