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The ugly side

After writing this, I am so reluctant to post it. It’s an ugly side that I hate to show, but it’s a problem that is real in our lives right now. I’m going to go ahead and post it, but please be gentle with me. I’m fragile. 😦

This kid

I love him. I love him. I love him. I love him. I love him.

And sometimes

it’s the only thing keeping me from… well…

This one better describes how I feel right now.

Because I just got a call from the assistant principal. Apparently, during morning recess, he and another little boy were chasing a boy around the playground. They threw the boy into the rock climbing structure and pinned him there, asking him “Do you give up?” The poor kid being chased was scared, and rightfully so.

I just don’t know what to do. I want to cry, because I know what it’s like to be bullied. I don’t know how to handle having a kid who is the bully. I’ve told him my story, several times. He knows most of the gruesome details of what it was like for me in school, and yet, they haven’t had any effect on him.

On top of that, he had a recital this morning that I took time off work to attend. Afterwards, a boy about his age approached me and asked if Gary was in some sort of skate club. I told him no. A few minutes after that, the boy and a group of other boys approached me and asked if Gary had ever shot a 20 year old. With Gary standing right next to me, I told the boys no, that he never shot anyone. The group of boys, about 7 or 8 in all, looked at Gary and said “You told us that was real!”

I just don’t know what to do anymore… events from this past week have led us to a decision to medicate him for the ADHD. The psychiatrist he saw has also diagnised him with ODD (Oppositional Defiance Disorder). We’re going to start him on the meds this weekend. While I know the medication will help him to concentrate and stay on task, I just don’t know what help they will give to these other issues. I’m just scared of how he’s going to turn out.



The looney bin, or close to it

John’s idea of a snack
John: “Mom, can I have a snack?”

Me: “No, it’s almost dinner time.”

John: Runs into my bedroom because he knows daddy always has snacks on his end table.

Me: Sees John running into our bedroom and knows exactly what’s on his mind; runs in after him, just as he reaches the end table; observes him look around for a second then watch as he walks back towards me. He’s clearly got something in his mouth. With hands on hips, ask “John, what are you eating?”

John: “Oh, just my boogers”

Gary’s idea of logic
Gary: “Did you know that nobody ever gets hurt in Garyland?”

Me: “Really? Like nobody ever gets hurt there?”

Gary: “Nope, nobody ever gets hurt in Garyland.”

Me: “Well, what about the bad guys?”

Gary: “Well, they get hurt. Of course.”

Me: “But you just said nobody ever gets hurt in Garyland.”

Gary: “Except the bad guys.”

Me: “No, you said nobody which means everybody does not get hurt. You didn’t specify any exceptions in your comment.”

Gary: “I don’t know what that means.

Me: “That means, with no exceptions then the bad guys don’t get hurt.”

Gary: “I just said they get hurt. I’m a ninja and I’m the only one in Garyland that can hurt the bad guys.”

Me: “Do you get hurt?”

Gary: “No, I’m a ninja!

Me: “Oh, ok. That’s clear as mud.”

James’ idea of keeping me off the computer for a whole weekend.
James: “I’m going to take the CPU to the desktop down to Staples and have them clean it up so it runs faster.”

Me: “Oh sweet! How long will that take?”

James: “A couple of days.”

A few hours later

James: “You couldn’t go a whole weekend without your precious computer and the internet.”

Me: “Yes I could. I’m not an addict.”

James: “Yes you are. I’ll bet if you don’t get on the computer at all this weekend I’ll be taking you to the loony bin by Sunday night.”

Me: “You’re on”

Fast forward to Saturday night.

James: “Crap, I’m out of insulin.”

Me: “That sucks.”

James: “It’s really late and I’m all ready in my underwear. *sigh*”

Me: “That sucks even more.”

James: “I’m kinda hoping that you’ll go to the pharmacy for me since you’re still dressed and all.”

Me: “No.”

James: “I’ll life your computer ban if you go.”

Me: “The ban isn’t really for you to lift, now is it? But ok, I’ll go. If you kiss my toe.”

James: “WHAT?! That’s so gross!”

Me: “Have fun at the pharmacy.”

James: “Which one?”

Me: “The one you broke. Twice!”

James: Puckers up and kisses my toe.

Me: Goes to the pharmacy and picks up his prescription. Gets back home and tells James, “Now my computer ban is lifted! Woo Hoo!”

James: “No, you said I had to kiss your toe and I did. The computer ban is still on.”

Me: “I don’t think so! You said I could have it back if I went.”

James: “Then you changed the rules.”

Me: “No I didn’t, I just added to them!”

15 minutes later

James: “Hey, come check this out on the computer.”

Me: “What is it?”

James: “Just come look at it.”

Me: Sits down at the computer and enters the password into the laptop; gets an error message that the username or password was incorrect; enters the password again; gets the same error message. “Did you change the password on the laptop?”

James: “Yes, I did. The ban is still on!”

Me: Taps out password after password because I know all of his usual ones but nothing is working! Sees a button for ‘switch users’; presses the button but no other users pop up; presses Ctrl/L to get the list of users to come up but no success.
James: “Oh, and I also removed the other users”

8PM Sunday night

Me: “Well, since the weekend started at 8pm on Friday, then the weekend ends at 8pm on Sunday.”

James: “I don’t think so. The weekend ends on Monday.”

Me: “Do you want sex?”

James: “Yes”

Me: “Then give me the password!”

James: Changes the password on the laptop.

Me: Plays on the laptop for the rest of the night

My idea of helping James cook
James: “All I need you to do is stir the pasta roni after the water starts to boil. Then, start the microwave about 5 minutes before dinner is ready. Can you handle that?”

Me: “I’m not an idiot! I know how to cook some things.” Reading the directions on the back of the Pasta Roni; it says to slowly pour in the pasta and special seasoning; looks in the box, removes the seasoning; opens both packets and dumps the contents of both special seasoning and pasta into the pot all at once; stirs contents; pot boils over. “Crap!”

Once dinner is served

FIL: “Do we have any veggies to go with dinner?”

James: Looks at me.

Me: Looks at the microwave; jumps up and presses ‘Start’.

James: Looks at FIL – “They’ll be ready in 5 minutes. We can have them for dessert.”

James & FIL: Give me dirty looks

Me: “What? You know I’m inept in the kitchen. Why does this surprise you?”

After the microwave dings

Me: “Someone better get that, you know how inept I am in the kitchen. I don’t want to ruin the freshly cooked vegetables.”


Mean Nasty Rotten Old Witch

At four years old, you made me clean my room because it was dirty. You turned my daddy against me. He was my ally, but then he was on your side
 You Mean, Nasty, Rotten Old Witch.

You made me go to school when I didn’t want to go. You stood over me to make sure I got all my homework done. I wasn’t allowed to play until the work was done.
You Mean, Nasty, Rotten Old Witch.

You slapped me across the face that day I screamed at you “it’s your house, YOU CLEAN IT!” You slapped me again that day when I called you a bad word because you were so unreasonable that you wouldn’t come pick me up from school.
You Mean, Nasty, Rotten Old Witch.

You taught me to be kind to others, respectful of adults, and to believe in myself. You Mean, Nasty, Rotten Old Witch.

You instilled in me a love for reading. You taught me to appreciate people from all walks of life. You Mean, Nasty, Rotten Old Witch.

We had a secret that when everybody else was asleep, I could get up and spend time with just you. As I grew older, I found out that you had that “secret” with each of us kids, but that we all had our separate times. You Mean, Nasty, Rotten Old Witch.

You spent countless hours talking to me about boys, sex, and drugs. No subject was off limits. Your own life was an open book for your kids to read and learn from. You made yourself available whenever we needed you. You Mean, Nasty, Rotten Old Witch.

As I walk down memory lane and think upon all the Mean, Nasty, Rotten things you put me through I can’t help but look at my own children and hope that I too can someday be a Mean♥ ♥Nasty♥ ♥Rotten♥ ♥Old♥ ♥Witch♥.

I love you mom. Happy Mother’s Day.


I made a deal

with the devil  my husband. He says I have an addiction and that I would feel empty without my computer. I say he’s wrong. So he challenged me to stay off the computer for the whole weekend, and since I’m competative  I can’t pass up a challenge  I have to prove him wrong  I need to spend more time with the kids anyway, I decided to take on the challenge. So, I’m going dark for the whole weekend. That means no twitter, no facebook, no blogging (gulp), no photoshop (double gulp)… maybe I do have a problem.

So, with the exception of 1 blog post, I’ll be gone. For the entire weekend.  This one blog post, by the way, will be written by moi, by hand, and then typed up and posted by the devil my husband himself! I got the one blog post because of a certain holiday coming up this weekend. Shhhh, don’t tell my mom though. It’s a surprise! He agreed to type and post it for me only if he got to fix any grammatical and spelling errors. *sigh*

Since James will have semi control over my blog this weekend, do you have anything you’d like to ask him? Maybe he’ll give in, just this once, and answer some questions. Maybe. No guarantees though.


A baptism… of sorts

I’m being lazy today, so I’m posting some pictures from summer of 2007. I know it sounded like I was going to post something from the archives of my blog, but I’m not that lazy… yet.

I was going back through my pictures on Photobucket, and found these pictures and came up with a story for them.

John: “Hey mama, how do you get to heaven?”

Gary: “Oh, I’ll tell him mom! Can I tell him? You see John, first you have to accept Jesus in your heart.”

John: “Ok, got that. Anything else?”

Gary: “Yes, then you have to be baptized!”

John: “Baptized? What’s that?”

Gary: “Here, I’ll show you!”

John: “Really? That’s it?”

Gary: “Well, that’s how some churches do it, but I think in your case, you need full submersion.”

John: “Wha….”

Gary: “I baptize you in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit.”

John: “Look Ma! I’m saved!”

Gary: “Will you baptize me now?”

John: “No.”

Gary: “Fine, I’ll do it myself!”

(In the interest of full disclosure… what is up with all these disclosures lately? Anyway, in the interest of full disclosure this conversation did not actually happen. I made it up as I went along! I have no idea what they were doing or why Gary was trying to submerge John, but obviously Gary wasn’t too successful. Also, I’m pretty sure a 1 year doesn’t understand the concept of heaven. Come to think of it, that 1 year old who is now 4 still doesn’t understand the concept of heaven.)


WW – A clean room

Cleanliness is next to Godliness. In this case, it’s next to Momliness! Because mom spent hours cleaning, organizing, dusting, vaccuuming & purging this room last Thursday. Right after all the cleaning was done, mom made a list. A list of all the things that needed to be cleaned and exactly where they went. This list is to be adhered to every.single.day with a box for a check mark next to each item. Only after each and every item is checked off are the boys allowed to play.

And a clean room makes me happy!

I’m linking up with Angie at 7 Clown Circus and 5 minutes for mom


I am a Bath Junkie

When I was a kid, there was a commercial on tv that I still remember today. They had a slew of kids telling the audience what they wanted to be when they grew up.

~Little boy says “I want to be a fireman when I grow up!” Little girl says “I want to be a ballerina when I grow up” Voice over comes on with a picture of a man smoking and says “Nobody ever says they want to be a junky when they grow up”~

Obviously, they’ve never heard of Bath Junkie. I won a gift certificate from Becca to this fabulous store. I’ll admit, at first I wasn’t too thrilled about this giveaway. They have bath products for crying out loud. I have plenty of bath products at home! Oh, how wrong I was! Becca, Melanie, Pauline and I visited the store before they left to go back to Tuscon.

When you walk into the store, the first thing you see is this. This is a scents bar. It’s like heaven in little blue bottles of scented liquid. More on that later.

The nice sales lady

Pitched us a demonstration of 2 of their products. She led us towards these beautiful sinks that I am now coveting. I need this sink in my bathroom.

She poured warm water into our hands then scooped this goop into our palms. She said to rub our hands together like we were washing them. It kinds felt like washing my hands with sand and didn’t see the benefit of it because sand is dirty. She poured more water onto our hands to wash the sandy goop off, but didn’t let us dry them yet. She then sprayed another goop (this one didn’t feel like sand, so I felt a little better about this one) into our hands and told us to rub it in like lotion. When there was no more rubbing to be done, she handed each of us a towel to dry our hands off with. This was my turning point from upstanding citizen to Bath Junkie. My hands were so soft and smooth and had just the slightest hint of perfume to them. I was hooked.

The sales lady told us their store worked. All the bath products are completely customizable.

Step 1: You pick your bath product.

Most of the containers are empty because they fill them right there in the store. I chose the body scrub and body dessert, because I was so impressed with them.

Step 2: Pick your scent.

We spent a lot of time playing with the different scents. They have books and binders of different things you can mix together to make a certain scent. The lady made “birthday cake” for us, and I wanted to sniff the little piece of paper all day long!

Melanie grabbed one of the books and started mixing the different flavors herself. I think she went through the entire book while we were there. We decided she should open her own store in Tucson!

Step 3: Making the bath products and adding color.

Really, did you think I would choose something other then green? This is me we’re dealing with!

Before she put the finished scrub back into the tub, she let me sniff it!

I even let someone else touch my camera *GASP*

Since Becca was a seasoned Bath Junkie, she all ready knew what she wanted; a bath ball.

So her and I wandered the store looking at all the other stuff they had.

These are soaps in the shape of fortune cookies. So Cute

Bath salts in an ice cream cup. Love it!

And what would a bath store be without ducks?

Except, not all of them were this cute. They also had evil ducks.

Monkey ducks, zebra ducks, tiger ducks, lion ducks. Even an elephant duck that we lovingly named Elephaduck. I just now thought of another name for that duck, but this is a family friendly blog, so I won’t say it. I’ll just say, remove the a and d from the middle.

So, thank you Becca

For making a Bath Junkie out of me.

And thank you Melanie

And Pauline

For turning into Bath Junkies with me!

Oh, something else I learned when we went to the Yard House for lunch.

Did you know when you order ice tea from the menu, you’re actually ordering Black Tea? I did not know that until yesterday. Now, we’ve all learned something new!

(In the interest of full disclosure, 1. I did not get paid in any form by Bath Junkie to promote their store or their products and 2. The commercial mentioned above is for a drug free America from I don’t even know how long ago. I am an advocate of a drug free America; so don’t do drugs. And if you are, then stop. Unless it’s legal, then drug away according to your doctors instructions.)